Love: Should I, shouldn't I, will I, won't I

Tiana L. Mann  

     I have a few thoughts on this topic. I'm kinda old school, but it works. I believe the man's action/inaction determines the tone of the relationship. He may not say what he wants verbally, but his actions will show what he is ready for. If he wants to be exclusive, he'll make it known, and follow-up with actions to pursue that end. If making you a priority is not primary in his mind, his actions will show it. Feel free to ask questions of the man, but his actions speak louder. We (as women) have to determine what we can and cannot live with, and make our decisions/next moves based on how what we want squares with his actions. For instance, if you want a relationship, and dude is not making you a priority, then you have to take that into account, and decide whether you will stick-it out at third (of fifteenth place), or if you will stick to your guns until the man you want finds you. The truth is that it's disappointing when you like a guy, and you want to be his priority, but he has not made you one yet...we have to learn to readily accept that and then move on.

     My theory is that a good girlfriend makes a good wife. Even if you aren't planning on getting married now, if we (women) get into the habit of joining the pursuit (which I think a man should do), then it will be hard for us to really allow a man to be the leader in the relationship -- which is where he should be (well...at least any man that dates me needs to be a leader...I'm too strong of a woman to let a follower try to be my boo...SORRY! lol). As crazy as this sounds, I think it's best to play our role -- the prize to be won. It doesn't mean that we should be snobby brats demanding things and stuff that we would never do/give to a man. Instead, I just think a man should pursue a woman of interest. We have to remember to play our role, and not the man's -- no matter how slow we may think he's being. lol. Again, we are the prizes to be won...and if he won't play the game with the intensity of someone who wants to win... it's his loss...not yours. 

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       This is a comment taken from a friends status. This week I read 3 Blog posts written by 3 very different women in regards to being cheated on/ why men cheat. And yes I too joined in the fist raising and the damn rights etc etc. I felt their pain and their loss and although I have never been in their shoes. I secretly counted myself lucky to have never been cheated on or been in love soooooooo deeply that it took me to the brink or insanity, or in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. And then the question came "when do you realize that you are number one for the other person in the relationship". the excerpt above is  one of the suggested answers. When we realize he is not playing with the intensity of someone who wants to win you let go and move on. One of my university professors said one of the reasons why women get the raw end of the deal sometimes in relationship is because they see the crap happening or going to happen and they stay, because they are afraid to let go. LET GO. Be knowledgeable about your worth and what you can bring to a relationship. Take comfort in that, know that if you didn't last and you  put your best foot forward in all your endeavours to make it work and when the curtain comes down bow gracefully out and leave. 

Kae-Toya's Top Makeup must haves.

    For this post I must big up ma gf Kady....................before I went to university I was never big on the Makeup vibes. But Kady and I lived together for one year and at the end of it I was changed.............she always says she created a monster and yep she is kinda right, but I'm not doing drugs................so lowe me. :)

1. MAC studio fix foundation plus powder in one.

2. MAC lipgelee  in Moistly..............works for everyone

3. The Body shop shimmer cubes........you should get as many of these as you can, the can be used dry or wet and the colour payoff is awesome. you get alot of product for the price.

4. Rubie amd Millie i tools.........these are the travel make up brushes. Rubie and Millie brushes are the shyt............. cosmopolitan UK has compared them to MAC brushes for many a spend vs splurge. As the owner of quite a few I can tell you they are worth the money.

5. Sleek makeup palettes.............great colours, great payoff, great makeup brand, great price.

6. Bourjois Paris makeup brushes...............these are great brushes and are a great price.

7. Bourjois blush...................again great price and great product.

8. Urban Decay 24/7  glide on eye pencils.....................the best eyeliner I have ever used in my life hands down............................a great alternative to this is the Maybelline khol express waterproof eye liner pencil great product at a greatttttttttttttt price........... I mean come on £18 on one eye liner....................( can you see my waiting in earnest for the urband decay xmas eyeliner set............... I can lol)

9. Sleek hide it concealer with spf 15.................great product great price.

10. MAC prep and prime eye...................:)

11. Benefit concealer brush...........:) great item..................expensive but worth the price.

12. L'oreal Made for me naturals eye and brow shadow.

13. Mac mineralize skin finish natural....................this was recommended to me by a friend.  This is a product I will never stop using.

14. L'oreal glam bronze..............dont be sleeping on the bronzer........its great for a highlight and on top of a matte powder can be used to bring life to the face.

15. Estee lauder kabuki brush....................works great minimum shedding..............love love love this.............a great alternative is the jemma kidd kabuki brush which I also own.................love love love that brush as well.

16. Benefit that gyal face primer......................it works.

17. Maybelline Colour definer waterproof shadow stick...............great as an eye shadow primer to make the colours pop more. Great alternative to mac shadesticks.

xx

Kae-Toya's Top 10 Hair care must haves.

As a budding hair care enthusiast I have been asked a few questions by friends who have become interested since I recently posted pics on my facebook of my new healthy locs. I must admit even my aunts were surprised with my growth on a recent trip home. So I am sharing with you my fellow girls (and guys) the products which I have used and they have been tried and tested and not found wanting in any way. These are products which I have bought with my own money and used for years. I have black type 4a/b hair (yes them naps).  I relax my hair every 8 weeks and deep condition every 2 weeks.

1. Matrix Biolage colorcaretherapie Delicate care Shampoo (for sensititized/colored hair) this shampoo is sulfate/paraben free and contains organic acai+ argan antioxidant complex.................its the business.

2. Matrix Biolage colorcaretherapie Delicate care Conditioner (for sensititized/colored hair) this also sulfate and paraben free and contains organic acai+ argan antioxidant complex.

3. Matrix Biolage colorcaretherapie Delicate care Masque (for sensititized/colored hair) aka the deep treatment this also sulfate and paraben free and contains organic acai+ argan antioxidant complex. This has is a high dose of avocado oil, followed by argan oil and also acai berry and is a colour fade fighting forumula..............this is a product that you the feel the difference from the first use.

4. Matrix Biolage colorcaretherapie Delicate care Organic Certified oil............this is pure argan oil. I use this after or before my blow dry, or maybe mid week on my ends a dime sized amount I just rub it in my hands and then apply it to my ends and all over my hair.

5. Inecto Pure coconut oil deeply nourishing leave in conditioner...........I spray this in after I have blotted the excess moisture out of my hair.

6. Matrix sleek look smoothing system step 4 Iron smoother......this  is my heat protectant it protects up to 200 degrees and protects from humidity. I used the ghd heat protectant for 2 years before I started using this sleek one and in my opinion the sleek one works alot better.

7. Organic root stimulator Olive oil incredibly rich moisturising  hair lotion.............I've used this is small amounts over the last 3 years but I have finally committed and purchased a bottle to see my through the winter .......( and I got 25% free...go girl its yuh burfday). This is that I used to moisturise my hair twice a week.

8. Fantasia IC pm nightime oil treatment .............I have warrrrrrrrrrrrred with family members over bottles of this stuff. This is one thing that ever relaxed girl should have in her arsenal. It even comes in a travel size so no excuses ladies. This  have been using for about 5 years now. I love this stuff. If  I'm wearing my hair wrapped I spray this on my hair 4 sprays every other night. ( this is the first 2 weeks of my perm)  I also use this mixed with a little castor oil to seal my ends after I have moisturised my hair twice a week. SERIOUSLY ladies if you don't have this you are sleeping on your hair care.

9. Fantasia IC Hair polisher daily hair treatment .............I apply this all over my hair after I have finished blow drying and then I straighten my hair with the flat iron.  this gives my hair a lovely sheen and a sleek smooth finish.

10. Organic root stimulator coconut oil ................... this is what I use to oil my scalp twice a week the same time that I moisturise and seal.

These products have been my staples for the last year I  some longer than a year and they have worked brilliantly.