Kae-Toya Kwote

Life will get you down, people will beat you down, friends will let you down, but PRAYER and FAITH will get you through.

know who you are

Insanity...

Liam Neeson is on point regarding his explanation of insanity in the movie "Limitless", though it is not the well known Albert Einstein concept of "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results", it got me thinking. Why do we as human beings expect so much yet do so little in terms of change? If you have been toiling away for days weeks months and you can see no progress from where you started, ummmm isn't that a bit insane? And if this is the case and you can recognize it clearly, is it not the time to "take a risk, take a chance and make a change?" There is nothing wrong with wanting more or to be a better person but you have to be willing to change, adapt and come up with a new strategy.

Come out of the darkness and step into the sun.

Summer House happenings: Fight or Flight

Before I go into the depths of this post I would like to say big up to Mister Brumant and those many many many cross country runs that I went on during my 5 years at Christ the King High School. For those of you Who did not attend the esteemed facillity of education that was Christ the King as it is called let me explain. We had to do P. E. at my school it was not optional, everyone from the 1st form to the 5th form had to do P. E. and the first week of  EVERY school year we set out on a mile and a half run affectionately known as cross country. Now realistically it was around the block, but hey the block was a big block, sun was hot, throw in one ugly ass PE uniform and just sheer embarrassment on running on the public road for all man jack to see you made it seem like a very long run.  I did this 2 times a year once was the mandatory PE run and also for the sports day run to give my house points. Fast forward 10 years later and what do you know the lil run came in handy. Last night (this morning) I was walking home from a house party and out of nowhere I heard hey and I looked around and saw this guy, then he starts running off I went. Like seriously  every episode of Criminal minds, Law and order and NCIS started flashing through my mind, I started running full pelt up the road running running running, some serious serious fight or flight had kicked in, looking back on the incident now I didn't even think about it my gut just told me to run and I did. I ran screaming up the street, my brain told me to scream and to run and that is all I did until a taxi driver saw me and stopped and asked me what was going on. Later after I went to show the police where the guy had come from the police officer asked me if i had run all that way and I said yea, she was like umm you know this is a good 1/2 mile right. My roomate looked at me when we got back to the house and asked what if the guy had caught me I looked at her and said he had to catch me first and there was nooooooooooooo way he was catching me. 

xoxo

How much does your face cost.......

     Hey guys I'm coming to you with a post today, which stems from a tag I saw going around on the Beauty Blogs called "how much does your face cost."  The concept is that you get together the makeup that you would reach for on a day to day basis, on the days that you wear makeup and add up how much everything costs. Here I am going to go through mine bear in mind that some things may be used interchangeably eg foundation and tinted moisturiser or the eye shadows. However these are my staple  most used products here goes:

1. Mac Studio Fix  Powder + Foundation compact NW45 £19.50

2. Benefit "that gal" brightening face primer £21.50

3. Mac Mineralize Skinfinish Natural  Deep Dark £18.50

4. Rimmel Professional Eyebrow pencil 004 black brown £2.99

5. Rimmel The max volume flash mascara £3.99

6. Clinique Plum Seduction eyeshadow palette

7. Mac Studio Finish Concealer spf35 £13.50

8. L'Oreal Glam Bronze Bronzing powder £7.99

9. Boujois mineralise blush 74 Rose Ambre £5.99

10. Victoria Jackson eye palette part of a set that cost £20 (no longer available)

11. L'Oreal Made for me Naturals Brow and eyeshadow £2.99 (no longer available)

12. Sleek blush in Sahara £4.30

13. Sleek blush in Sunrise £4.30

14. Sleek blush in Flushed £4.30

15. Mac Prep and Prime eye Dark  £12

16. Hello kitty lip balm in blackberry £2.99

17. L'Oreal eyeliner 13 Noir intense (jet black) 4.50

18. Urban Decay tinted moisuriser £17

      This may seem like alot of stuff but remember things like blushes are used interchangeably please do not for a second think I wear 4 blushes all at once, chuckles to myself.  this revealed a things 1. I only bought 5 things on this list the total cost of those items £37.79,  the total amount of these items £168.34, and two of the items on this list are no longer available lol. Now the idea of this is that you find a dupe (cheaper version/own brand but with similar quality) for these products which costs less. 

    I quite like alot of these products here but there are two definites that I will be checking dupes for  primer - Gosh primer £12 from superdrug and Accesorize minieralise blushes which are a really good dupe for the Mac mineralise skin finish natural  which costs £6.50 also at superdrug. The tinted moisturiser you guys know I absolutely hate so I will be upgrading that with the Bobbi Brown oil free tinted moisturiser in May.

xoxo

Pass Out

This is a video from the UK's wittiest mcs Tinie Tempah, enjoy. Girls check out the cheekbones........

"Get your glass out, so we can have a celebration till we pass out"

The long road home, sometimes you walk that road alone

    Sometimes you give and give and give and give without realising how much you have given, how much you have sacrificed for others. I have on my mothers side 4 sisters and 2 brothers and I have always thought of us as one nation. don't need no friends because I have my sisters and my brothers to talk to, back me up any time. Nothing I have has ever been too good for them to have and I have never ever let them go without. Never ever. My oldest relationship in the world was broken because chose to stand beside them in an argument over something simple but escalated.  But today I realised that where as I would have the last 1 dollar and give them to ease whatever burden they had, they would never do the same for me and that hurts me to no end. I'm not going to be OK today or tomorrow or the next day but I know how to pick path for myself, and if it is one person who doesn't need company to walk ah road. So I know that I will be ok.
     We live in a world at the moment where its not ok to be hurt, everything should be brushed off, and we move on. Yes life goes on but hurt doesn't stop, there is no way to quantify how long one should hurt, or how deeply one incident affects someone. All I can do all anyone of us can do is try to make the good days outweigh the bad days and not let the hurt consume us. Hurt is part of the development process, just like muscles rip apart and then are healed when we exercise, we experience hurt to help us grow as part of our personal development.

Life, Liberty and Learning.......
    

Driven: Motivating women to be their best selves in relationships

They say good writing good ideas take time to develop but having good friends with great minds means that you’ll get there that much quicker with help and inspiration. A typical Tuesday conversation with my good friend Kae-Toya turned into a terrific idea for a blog post. It seems as if she had been cultivating the idea of men in relationships for a while. Her main premise “men need love too”. My initial reaction was uncertain as I wanted to keep the blog focused about being driven towards educational, financial, and vocational fulfilment. Little did I realize that sometimes the driving force behind these desires may be a spouse/lover/girlfriend/boyfriend etc.

We then decided to collaborate on this spicy topic of love interests from a masculine and a feminine perspective.

So here goes: Driven, motivating women to be their best selves in relationships. 
Kae-Toya started off by mentioning that men need love too. As a man I embrace this statement and wish that more women would see us men on the other side of the coin trying desperately to be all things to our better halves. Needless to say that we are at times not catered to as we cater to women’s. As my co-writer so aptly added “women should send a man flowers, rub his feet, cook his favourite meal and buy him boxers just because its Tuesday”. The look of “oh yeah” was plastered helplessly across my face as I though that should any women would do these things for me I would run off the auction block so fast that the ground would shake uncontrollably. She out did herself by adding the special occasion sex for no other reason than its Wednesday and got me to thinking.

Men are by nature predators/hunters we size women up weigh the pros and cons and after all is said and done we charge in head first. Some might be overzealous at the sight of some “chrome skin” while others might be intrigued by the mystery that is her character (raises hand in guilt). Others still might just enjoy the thrill of the chase and the conquest but let’s not dwell on that.


Our focus is on women and how they can be driven to be their best selves in relationships. Allot is expected of men being the patriarchal figure in society. We hunt (work) and gather (get paid) all to our benefit and also to the women in our lives. All we (I) ask in return is for some consideration (and by this I mean pampering) on our behalves. What self respecting man would not enjoy his wife sending him flowers, chocolate and a teddy bear at work for his birthday or valentines or just because. It might appear a bit fruity to the other guys but bet your bottom dollar they will all go home and tell their women what Shawn’s woman/wife did for him and how they too should step up to the plate. In speaking of holidays despite the fact that men only get fathers day and birthdays to feel special everything else is commercialised around getting gifts for women. A fact that they never let us forget. Try coming home empty handed on valentines and see what happens (dog house). Yet very few men receive gifts on this day. If it is indeed a day of love lets share it both ways. And when you do, don’t get him socks or a tie or a watch. Get him some handcuffs, leather jacket, something exciting, maybe motor bike lessons perhaps but make him know that you care about him as much as he cares to buy you another tennis bracelet or diamond earrings.

Now its not a given that women should cook all the time but if you do majority of the cooking it would be nice to see you in the kitchen in heels and a nice dress preparing something sexy like pasta primavera or a chocolate soufflé with a table set for one cause you plan to sit on his lap and feed him dinner/desert wearing nothing but the said heels. Think its too much, ok fine. See how much it is when he loses interests in extra curricular activities because he is all tapped out of ideas and suggestions and you’re on the living room floor with your girlfriends, drinking his wine, questioning his fidelity. Mind you that if he leaves it would be because the other women would have gone the extra mile to entice said man because she knows that he is a good catch and she would have caught you falling asleep at the wheel. Thus the cycle would continue. So why not break the cycle, be motivated towards your mate. Make him/her feel like the first lady/commander in chief. Don’t treat him like the gardener and expect presidential suite service. 


It was refreshing to hear this coming from a woman’s perspective but I had to ask myself as to how many women out there have done something spontaneous for their man whether in the bedroom or not (please no hand raising necessary). It might be the masses or it might be a few. Is society to blame by showing images of women always receiving grandiose gifts and exotic treatment while a man gets another tie? Maybe so but buying into television reality is not prescribed. Truth be told most men (I) are willing to jump through hoops of fire in a lions den with a Chinese assassin hurling 8 point stars at us to get the women they want (unintellectuals need not apply) all we ask is that when the rubber hits the road that women make it worth our while. Truth be told as responsible men we expect to put out for dates, movies, late night runs to honey cutter, hitch hiking to come and see you, meeting the family etc. It is our duty to say the least. We need some encouragement though besides the obvious. We need back as much as we put out. There is no use being an alpha male without a she male that is willing not only to fend off all other she males but one who grooms your coat and chips in with the hunting and gathering from time to time.

I would pay to see the man who doesn’t want to have a woman he can not only count on to be there come what may but one who knows he is worthy of her love and effort regardless of time of day or occasion.

The critics will say “what of the men who don’t man up and meet even the basic of expectations”? They are out there. Separating the men from the boys is as hard as separating the women from the girls but it can be done.


Settling for less than what you deserve is deserving what you settle for.

P.S. a little compromise goes a long way.

or some motivation 


Written by Shawn Maile and Kae-Toya Lee-Bramble

Saturday night out/ Roomies birthday

Close up  of the makeup

 Hair and back of outfit

Outfit
Tank H&M, skirt with belt Matalan, Thomas Sabo bracelet, Links of London bracelet, Swarovski Crystal cuff, Swatch daimonds are forever watch, silver studs

Summer of Iridescence: Rimmel nail polishes for summer.

When I think of summer I always think of bold bright, colours, I have yet to figure out if it is the creativeness or the island girl in me. Rimmel is better known for its makeup, however their nail  polishes are not too shabby. I did a little polish haul. The polishes are all iridescent, which means your nails are guaranteed to grab some attention.

 These are from Rimmels new range of quick drying polishes, there are some matte colours but I only wanted the ones with the sparkle. These ones also have a larger than normal brush which makes applying the polish very quick.

 These are from Rimmels 2009/2010 summer collection these are supposed to be super long lasting.

 Azure

 Azure after 2 coats and top coat

 Black Cherries

 Coral Crush

 Portabello Pink

 Pulsating

 Purple Reign

 Green with Envy

Shocker

These polishes are really good quality, however you need 2 or 3 coats to get the true colour of the polish. Use with top coat.

xoxo

Pastels for spring? Oui mademoiselle

 Now Understand something I like what I like and that is it. I am not the type to purchase something just to say I have it, and not use the product, if I like something I like it end of story. If I don't like something I wont like it today, I wont like it tomorrow, next week or in 6 months time. This way of thinking transfers to my shopping habits and my present (gift) habits. eg my birthday every year there is usually one thing which I really really like, and no matter how many people ask me what I would like for my birthday it will always be the same thing. Why because that is what I like and I refuse to come up with a ton of different crappy things just to please the masses and collect dust.

Last spring it was warm, it was sunny, the birds were out, it was shorts weather here in the UK and Barry M came out with a range of nail polishes called the "Ice Cream collection." I saw it I loved it I bought all 5 colours in 1 purchase.

Here we have Pale Pink, Pale Purple, Turquoise, Mint green, and Pale Yellow.

Pastels are making a comeback this spring, so I will be  putting these to use. These colours are not only limited to spring they can be used to match your costumes if you are participating in carnival. or add a dash of colour to a monochrome outfit. The colour pay off for these polishes are true so you only need about 2 coats to get the full effect, however the polish does get clumpy, so you have to paint your nails with precision timing.

xoxo

Products I can't live without: Beauty Basics Edition

The everyday essentials that keep me looking great, feeling good and well preserved. lol

Radox shower smoothie - this particular one has in guarana and some other citrus smelling entities which is great for those mornings when I need a bit of zing to wake me up. Radox is a great cosmetic brand here in the UK. It is not too expensive but they make great products and quality is never compromised.

Palmers cocoas butter lotion - old faithful it has been especially great this winter period, because this cold has been on another level. The other fru fru lotions had to "get gone," like that guy in the irreplaceable video.

Elizabth Arden Red Door Revealed - this is my ode to Valentines day. Since I am single I decided that I am going to celebrate Valentines for the whole month of  february by wearing my valentines perfume all month. This is a really light, fresh scent, be careful not to spray too much though, it can get a bit cloying.

Secret invisible solid - It is invisible when your armpits are hairless, works well overall my go to everyday deodorant.

Seaweed toner, facewash and night lotion -  from the body shop. works really well a little goes a long way with these products so a light hand is necessary to get the most for your money. really good if you have oily skin.

St Ives apricot scrub for oily blemished skin -  I bought it, I use it, I dont like it, but I'm going to finish it because I paid for it.

Vitamin E face mask from the body shop - face sex in a jar, love this stuff. I apply it all over my face, then shower, come out of shower, rinse it off,  cleanse, tone, moisturise and I'm good to go. Again a little goes a long way with this stuff I have had this jar for over a year and I use it on my face twice a week like its my religion.

Nivea oil free mattifying day lotion -  works really really really really well. don't sleep on Nivea producs especially the lip balms and the body lotions. They are so good its stupid the lil bit of money they cost.

Side note - I decant my toner into a spray bottle, it lasts alot longer, compared to pouring it out directly from the flip cap.

Water -  I drink at least 1 litre of water a day.

Cod liver oil -  Two tablets a day

Vitamin c tablets -  I drink one of these every other day.

Fossil Watch -  I believe grown ups need to wear watches, checking the time on your phone is for teenagers.

Thomas Sabo - Charm bracelet with star charm

Links of London  - Sweetie Charm bracelet with clover charm (love me love me not collection)

Silver studs

And there you have it those are my everyday go to products. 

xx

A Review: Urban Decay Tinted moisturiser (Summer Series 2011)

This stuff should come with a disclaimer that says----------> oil slick on a bottle.

 This was one of thee single worst products I purchased in 2010.  As most of you know the UK had an unprecedented spate of hot weather last summer. I was on my internship ( or first steps into the corporate world as my aunt called it) and applying foundation to be touched up during the day, when I was walking all over construction sites and a 5 story building was NOT conducive to my way of thinking. So along comes Urban Decay with this tinted moisturiser business and I was interested. Now it looks good going on but about 2 hours after application I looked like the turkey at Christmas after it has been rubbed with butter. The reviews all said it was oil free, the lady at the urban decay store assured me it was oil free, the packaging says oil free. So why when I went on the Urban Decay website to check the ingredients the 3rd ingredient was CASTOR OIL. Oil free my hiney..............this product gets a FAIL. When I went back to the store to complain (YES I am one of THOSE PEOPLE) imagine this woman had the audacity to attempt to sell me a mattifying agent  to fix the oily problem with the oil free primer?

However I pulled a Tim Gunn on its a** and made it work, Benefit "that gyal" face primer, then apply the urban decay oil slick in a bottle, and then I set it with my MAC mineralized skin finish natural in deep dark. 

MYST BODY 2011: Breakfast Bite

Hey hey lovelies no I have not forgotten you all and no I have not fell off the wagon. I just got a bit caught up with assignments towards December.Today is the first breakfast bit for the new year And it is a small one but all the same here goes. Special K red berries ( yes it tastes like cardboard) with skimmed milk (no sugar), and a cup of green tea with a satsuma. and my regular 2 cod liver oil tablets

January House Happenings: It's summer body time

I am lounging on my sofa at home in my pajamas writing this message, yea, yea, yea. It's January guys JAN -U-ARY  you know that that means? 1. it is the FIRST month of the year, 2. the first star sign in the horoscope begins in January, 3. it is time for everyone who has over indulged during the Christmas/Autumn term to start getting their bodies in shape for Spring and Summer. Birthday plans are still in the making so no word on that yet.  Will let you guys know how the festivities have gone. 

Snow House Happenings; My Resolution to be Resolute

Here we  are yet again on the eve of the eve of the new year. As usual I am being over whelmed with a plethora of new years resolutions uttered by others. Those who are not making new years resolutions are asking me what resolutions I will be making. I am making the Resolution to be Resolute, yes that is my resolution. What is the point in making a resolution if you are not going to stick by it anyway? I have already made my 3 resolutions since August and I have been doing well in carrying these out so far. Hence I don't need a new resolution, I need to be resolute.

xoxo
Resolve to be Resolute

Autumn House happenings: For Coloured Girls in 2010

So I watched "For Coloured girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf" I wasn't moved or inspired or overwhelmed. When the film finished I was angry and resentful that 30 years later as coloured girls that story is still our story. The same things occur and even in a higher proportion. How many people do we know that say " I only like light skinned guys" or "I only like light skinned girls". How many of you guys have seen your boy put his hands on his woman or his children and have told him he is wrong? Look at all the teenage pregnancies we see day to day it is like an epidemic. Last year I lost count of the amount of under-age girls on sex tapes I saw. This movie didn't show me anything I don't already see everyday. Women sleeping around under the guise of sexual liberation, when really all they are doing is becoming a sperm bucket for the next person lined up to take their worth and these women are content to just give it away for free. The dance teacher that got raped by someone she knows, not the big bad stranger she thought it would be, doesn't it go to show that bad things happen to good people. ( Didn't anyone already know this?) The husband who was not gay "just a man who liked to sleep with other men " ladies we know about men on the downlow. I didn't get it but maybe "Being coloured is a metaphysical dilemma that I have not conquered yet...." -A coloured girl

Autumn House happenings: A thought

You know whats really funny ALL the sexist, racist and oppressive crap that everyone finds hilarious, yet still society wants to know why everybody is so messed up. 

Autumn House happenings: I'm tired in my spirit.

I'm tired

not physically tired

spiritually tired

I'm tired of all these women who dont want to fight for themselves,

I'm tired of being upset on their behalf when man of all races and hues regale me with tales

of them

it feels like I am the only one fighting

and I cannot fight for you

if you don t want to fight for yourself

so many beautiful women are just reduced to a bang or a fuck.

I am tired of being upset on your behalf when these men ridicule you and call you derogatory names.

I am tired, are you not tired?

I need to rest.

A original poem By Kae-Toya Lee-Bramble

Autumn House happenings: For Coloured Girls (Opinion piece)

For Coloured girls who have attempted suicide when the rainbow is enough is a choreopoem written by Ntozake Shange some 30 years ago. It has since been turned into a film directed by Tyler Perry.  Some love it and most hate it. However it has been the most talked about film  in the last month, and has called to mind many issues. The men hate it, the women love it and the words racist and racism have been bandied about quite a bit.  Since when is it not within your right as a person with any cognitive ability to disagree with something?  All of a sudden it is not ok for anyone to question Tyler Perrys work because we are being racist and empowering colonialism.  Excuse me how am I embracing colonialism when he has put a bunch of stereotypes in a bag and sold it as the finest thing  ever made? Yes the movie itself does bash men alot, in response to this I want to know where are the books about the good men, the facebook statuses, the phonecalls to your girlfriends rehashing the lovely dinner he made or  the clothes he washed and put on the line? The men that are part of our families, our friends, the ones that we call  to fix the broken things around the house and to cut the grass. Even the ex boyfriend who was a complete ass towards the end of your relationship at some point along the way he must have done something right, even it it was just the one time he made a cup of tea and a sandwich he still deserves a thank you. Why because not only did you benefit from that cup of tea, you learned from that experience which traits and habits you do not want in a man. For that some thanks should be involved.


This  whole thing has highlighted  to me that  the black experience so caught up in being negative, oppression, rape, ghetto, downtrodden, broken, unfixable and undeserving. Is this all we can get, is this all we have, is this all we will ever be? 300 years after slavery? If this is how we see ourselves we cannot be upset with people our own black brothers and sisters who use skin lightening creams and lotions to bleach their skin to get lighter. Those people see what I see and its is all the negativity associated with blackness, they internalise this and they don't want to be black. Can I blame them no I cannot I have always pursued education as a means to making a better life for myself and in turn my family and children. If those people see being lighter as a means to creating a better life for themselves whether it is getting a job,moving to a new area, being considered for a promotion all I can say to my brothers and sisters use that 50+ spf  along with the bleaching cream.


bless

Autumn House happenings: A revelation

Today I was bored as hell you I was just chilling then I came across the strangest thing. Then I really had to read it again and again and again to really let it sink in that what I read was such. Then it hit me BAM You know what the problem is with Black Women? They have no damn sense Yes they went to University read and learned what was in the books, graduated top of the class, but still they have no sense. They operate on this thing I call selective intellect. Now it is strange to me how people have no stance on anything, but from time to time they jump up on their high horse and decide to chat rubbish. I find it shocking that people who routinely comment on posts which demean and decry woman suddenly find a moral compass today. Where were you to say hey this is not funny you need to dial it back? Where is your status to call for a boycott of certain tv channels until the Bring better programming?--------------> **crickets** Where was your status calling for recruits to join in with some sort of community based programme to empower youth and young people-----------> **crickets** Every year carnival costumes get less and less where is your status calling for mas makers to put more feathers and beads on the costumes so they have more coverage and preserve more modesty?---------------> **crickets** The women on tv who are degraded sooooooooooooo badly get paid to be half naked, whereas you pay someone to make you walk the streets half clothed. So you who has made no stand why are you complaining about other people? See that I am speaking about?----------------------> no sense.

Tyler Perrys movies and his 2 televisions shows have no depth. Tyler perrys movies are one dimensional his characters have no depth and they do not grow they are mass of clichéd ideals regarding black people. That is why people along with myself dont think he should have directed the movie "For coloured girls who have attempted suicide when the rainbow is not enough" it is not about racism or the portrayal of black people. This is the same selective intellect that has them drinking lady gagas kool aid but treating nicki minaj like a leper.