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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is a book written by Stephen Covey. In this book he presents an approach to being effective in attaining goals by aligning yourself with principles of character, these principles he describes as "The True North." Covey coined the idea of what he calls the abundance mindset/ abundance mentality, this concept feeds on the idea that there is enough to go around. All the success and resources are there to be shared with others, similar to the  ideals of the Eastern world  where everything done is for the gain of the collective. Covey compares this mindset to the scarcity mindset which he believes is based in destructive and unnecessary competition, this is founded on the idea that if someone wins then automatically everyone else has lost. Here the mentality is very western individualistic ( me, me, me, mentality nothing is done for the greater good). According to Covey individuals who suffer from a scarcity mindset never consider the fact that everyone may have a positive outcome from a situation. 

Independence or Self-Mastery

The first three Habits surround moving from dependence to independence (independence being the state of self mastery)

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Summary: Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with lifes principles) are the best primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. take responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow. 

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Summary: self discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics of your various roles and relationships in life. 

Habit 3: Put First Things First 

Summary: Plan Prioritize and execute your weeks tasks on importance rather than urgency. Evaluate whether your efforts exemplify your desired character values,propel you towards your goals and enrich the roles and relationships that were elaborated in in Habit 2. 

Interdependence

The second set of principles are concerning interdependence, how you work and communicate with others.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Summary : Genuinely strive for mutally beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect others by understanding that a "win" for all is ultimately a better long term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten their own way. 

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Summary: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. this creates an atmosphere on caring respect and positive problem solving. 

Habit 6: Synergize

Summary: Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork (good section for managers, supervisors and team leaders to read) in turn this helps to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modelling inspirational and supportive leadership. 

Self Renewal 

The last habit refers to self renewal:

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Balance and constantly renew your resources, energy, (spirit) and health yo create a sustainable, long term, effective lifestyle. 

Overall this book was an excellent read and definitely an eye opener, The principles are very easy to understand and implement in everyday life,with a bit of practice I should be on my way to being a highly effective person. 

Sigh

I get tired of fighting by myself, sometimes I want someone to fight for me. I pray and keep the faith, but sometimes I want someone here with me on the battlefield. Holding my hand, or even going before me as the first line of defense, leading the charge. I want you to fight for me, because I get tired of fighting by myself.

xx

Review: Organic Root Stimulator Olive oil, Oil moisturizing Hair Lotion (hair fave)

Wheew well that was a mouthful and yes that is actually the name of a single product, lol Here is a photograph. 

     I love love love this stuff. I definitely recommend it to all my girlies both relaxed and natural. The first two ingredients are water and coconut oil so this is a product which is def up there in the moisturizer category. It is very thick and rich which is especially good for cold/freezing climates when thicker conditioners and moisturizers are needed. This is also great for persons who live in hot or humid climates, all you have to do is use it in small amounts ---> a little goes a long way. 

     Also you could thin out the formula by squeezing approximately 1/2 the bottle into a container and adding 2  large tablespoons (the big one) of olive oil yes that same olive oil you have in your kitchen cooking with. Store in a cool space out of direct sunlight) This thinned out formula works great in the summer time for my relaxed hair, when I want my hair moisturized but not clumped down with products. This hair lotion is fairly CHEAP so this is what I call a recession proof product. Unless your hair absolutely HATES this there is no way you can go wrong. 

Lipstick Faves for Autumn/Winter

   Hey guys and gals long time no blog. This is just a quick list to tell you my Lipsticks that I will be wearing for the winter months. Now even though not all of my readers are in a cold climate like I am they will be sure to take away something from this post. 

Avon - A kiss of pink , this is a hybrid between a lipstick and a lipglos, it goes on smoothly and gives a great finish.

Sleek True colour  - Majestic, this is a gorgeous deep berry/plum shade it gives a matte finish, so you may want to pair with a gloss. 

Pics of my wearing Sleek Stiletto lipstick to a prohibition party....xx

Sleek True Colour - Stiletto, this is a lovely red matte lipstick with a tiny hint of an orange undertone, but not garish. You may pair with a gloss.

M.A.C. - Ruby woo this is a red liptick with blue undertones, it  also has a matte finish. This is the holy holy holy grail of red lipsticks, it looks great on every skin tone under the sun. I have it on good authority that it tends to be very drying so please make sure lips are well moist to prevent chapping, pairs well with Cherry lipliner also from MAC.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waDA_WaU6TA&feature=channel_video_title M.A.C Artist Caroline D. Creating a look that is as much red carpet glamorous as rock and roll rebel, she demonstrates the secrets to achieving an iconic red mouth. She is using RubyWoo lipstick from M.A.C.

Estee Lauder Pure Colour - Red apple, this is another berry lipstick it is a lighter berry, and has a lustre finish.

Rimmel London Lasting finish by Kate Lipstick - #01 this is a gorgeous true red lipstick which has a lustre finish. It is not too bright nor too dark, it is just perfect and at £5.49. with this baby you are guaranteed to turn heads and stop a few roads of traffic. 

Here they are  Red Apple, Kate Moss #01, Ruby Woo, and Majestic, Stiletto has pulled a disappearing act on me at the moment. 

Special mentions :

Sleek tinted lip conditioner in Scandal which is a delicious blood red lip conditioner.

Revlon superloustrous lipgloss in Firecracker.

I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and... I believe in miracles.

Audrey Hepburn 

words from another...Courtney from Most Eligible Dallas

"If you can't tone it you tan it" -Courtney from Most Eligible Dallas

Why you cut your hair?

It's back don't pretend you do not know what I am speaking about America's Next Top Model *All Stars*. Now most people know that Black women have an obsession with their hair. Always up in there doing something to the hair, changing something about the hair, buying products for the hair, or straight up buying some hair. Fried, dyed, laid to the side, chopped, popped, teased, weaved, gelled (hey hey we gave the world slicking down your baby hair with a toothbrush) its all about the hair.  We love everything about hair ----->Except cutting now on a good day a hairlista in training will but a 14 inch premium too 1b/40 and cut that up to impersonate Halle Berrys' latest hairdo. But her OWN hair now that is a no no. This is a combination of two things, 1. SCISSOR HAPPY STYLIST aka you go to the hairdresser for a trim and you leave with 3 inches shorter hair. 2. Black girls/women just like long hair and whether its scraggly, limp and barely hanging on ( yup you have seen the 1 strand ponytails) or nice and healthy. We don't embrace cutting of our own hair, because lets face it that hair takes long to grow back. On last nights episode of ANTM Nicki Minaj asked Cycle 5 favourite Bre Scullark "Why did you cut your hair?"  to which Bre promptly replied "The cheque looked good enough." I thought to myself good on you Bre, if the job requires short hair go hustle the money.

Don't Quit

Don't Quit 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And when you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.


Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
you may succeed with another blow. 


Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victors cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.


Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.


Author Unknown

Have a listen....

Sometimes we as human bring are not fearless, and we pysch ourselves out of things. Love, relationships, opportunities because we dwell on all the things that can happen, the negative things, instead of jumping in and then letting the chips fall where they may. I'm here to say we have to take the risks, toooo be happy.

I will wait for you.....

My cousin popped up in fb chat with the link for this video, and said "this is to make you feel better, to let you know that God will send you Mr Right. So you will wait on him for him."
This video is not new to me, I have seen it before on blogs and around the internet, but who it came from and the message it came with touched me. Listen and enjoy.

The youth and the Church

     If you attend Mass on any continuous 6 week period you will observe something. The same people always participate in the liturgy they might serve, read, conduct the proceedings, or pick up the collection. There are some persons who attend Mass and arrive just before it starts and leave just after it ends. Others come week in week out yet never participate in any liturgical activity. Then there are the rest you know the people who only attend "High Mass" ie, Christmas, Easter, New Years. Why is this so? When the pope came to Hyde Park last summer he said that it is time for the youth to become more involved in the church, the older people should not stop performing duties but they should make space for the youth to take up the mantle as well. Sorry to say but I think this has fallen on very deaf ears.
     I attended Mass conducted by Bishop Donald Reece of St John's - Basseterre when I around 13/14 and during his homily he stated " If you want to get rid of all the young people in the church baptiste them and confirm them and you will never see them again."  This statement came to mind as Pope Benedict expressed the need during these times where morals are easily questioned, and family structures are shaky to make way for the youth in the affairs of the church. The church is not the building where Mass takes place, it is the relationship that we as a community have with each other, the invested interest that we take in each others lives, whether it be for spiritual, mental, familial purposes. If we invite the youth to participate in the liturgical activities, as well as the various fairs, fetes and other events put on by the church they may become invested beyond the point of just showing up. I am not saying that we should be turning out droves of young people who are flocking to the cloth. However we need to do better so that excuses like -------> I am tired today, or I don't have any "church" shoes are not common place.
     The bible says teach a child the way he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. "Why is is so easy  for the youth to depart from the church?" Is it that the church is not welcoming, or unforgiving? Yes people/persons grow up and develop new interests but what about their spiritual development? Is that an interest that no longer needs to be nurtured?

"Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there Among them." 

A picture of yourself with 10 facts.

#1- I am 5'4.

#2- I've never had a broken bone.

#3- For my future career I would like to be a UN Financier or create world peace.

#4- I have seen every episode of sex in the city.

#5- I have never stood inlove.

#6- I love writing --> hence this blog.

#7- I have 1 tattoo and my ears are pierced twice.

#8- I love carnival, mas, soca, and feteing.

#9- I love travelling.

#10- I am the oldest of 7 children and the youngest of 6, (but I am not a middle child).

words from another... Liz (Eat,Pray,Love)

"I don't need to love you to prove I love myself." 


"Being balanced is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."  


Sometimes you just need to be selfish, it your life so bottom line it is all about you. 

words from another... Jessica White

“Women nowadays, we connect physically too soon without actually getting to know the person. If you don’t actually give this person your body and then they let you down, there really isn’t a great disappointment; not like it would be if you have already connected physically. I started going on that journey, and I thought to myself, you know what, the next man that I give my body to will be the man that God brought into my life.” 

My great love...

Love is the opposite of fear." "Fear is the catalyst behind many of the ugly things in our world like jealousy, oppression and outright hatred." Erykah Badu

Most times when one refers to love they mean in a romantic way towards another person. However it is possible to have a great love which has nothing to do with a man. My great love is learning, whether its how to operate a follow spot, change a car tire, bake cakes from scratch, paint a wall or operate a power saw. I want to learn how to do that. I will never tire of learning new things, for that is my great love.

I have found the sweet honey that is learning
xx 

Hair-iversary

     In between Biffy Clyro and Beyonce I realised that it has been a year since I have been on my hair journey August 28th 2010, "confetti in the air". I haven't posted any pics all summer because I wanted to take a break so I could really check the length against my last set of pics which I have uploaded. It wasn't always smooth sailing, at first it was a real chore to deal with my hair and get the routine going. The products I had to throw away/stop using,  stuff I had to buy.  It was a real investment I had to make going in, not only financially (£10 on a shampoo whew) but time wise, and knowledge wise. I really wanted my hair to grow and grow as long as it possibly grow, go the distance so to speak. I know so much about hair now, my attitude towards hair care has completely changed. Not only relaxed hair but natural hair as well. My roomate has been on her hair care journey as well at this time and she is natural. So it has been good being able to bounce ideas off of her and get advice etc. Mishaps have happened my hair completely reverted whilst I was home on summer vacation. Humidity tried my patience no end, leave in conditioner is my "best hair friend" lol.

Second half of the 2010 -2012 hair journey starts in 33 minutes (its currently 11:27gmt).

For this second year I will be embracing more protective styles. I am not totally going to be wearing my hair in protective styles 100% of the time but I am aiming for 90%. The first 2 weeks after a relaxer I tend to wear my hair down, but I am going to be wearing it up more. Also I will be using different products during this leg of the journey. I think that the Matrix products that I was using in the past my hair has benefited, but now I am able to try new products since my hair is in a really healthy state. When I started this journey I was a year into recovering from damaged hair, in terms of dryness, and slight breakage. The Matrix products were lovely full of Argan oil and avocado oil. However I think that I am at a stage now where I can use other things. Going in for the next leg of my healthy hair journey I will be using Elasta QP products on my hair.

Elasta QP stop action shampoo

Elasta QP shampoo for relaxed hair

Elasta QP Intense fortifying shampoo

Elasta QP olive and mango butter moisturiser (3tblspoons of olive oil added and mixed in thoroughly, or 2tblsppoons olive oil + 1tblspoon of castor oil)

These are the products which will make up the base of my regimen. I will continue  using my coconut oil to moisturise my scalp, my olive oil to seal my ends (spray my hair occasionally), Infusium 23 leave in conditioner, Matrix sleek heat protectant. Will continue to wash my hair and deep condition every 2 weeks, moisturising and sealing every week minimum 2 days a week (possibly every other day during the winter). Also I will be stretching my relaxers from 8 to 12 weeks  (3months) at a time.

Thank you for all the support, questions, suggestions over the last year and thanks in advance for all of them to come in the future.

xx

1 +1 = 2

"Make love to me, so when the world at war, let our love heal us all, help me let down my guard,ohhh, ohhh, ohhh" I've never been in love but WHEN I do this song sums up how I want it to feel. 

words from another... Donatella Versace

"Be bold, be brave and have faith in your abilities. Never be afraid to try new things, whatever other people might say."

Donatella Versace
xx 

words from another... Dolly Parton

"Anything hanging, dragging, or lagging, I'mma nip it, tuck it, and suck it." Dolly Parton 

words from another... Paul Carrick Bronson

"It's funny how many things that make you smile, do not cost money."


xx